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You almost feel that you are there with the author in the beginning of Spirited Yearling Wounded. It's very visually stimulating. The dialogue in the author's head is essential to understanding her plight. I am not homosexual myself, but live in a predominantly Mormon culture and can identify with some of the feelings that the author has with herself and her relationships with deity and others. She does not "slam" the doctrines of the Mormon church, so don't be worried. She gives a refreshing point of view of someone that feels they are an "outsider" to the culture going on around them. This book makes eveyone want to dig deeper into themselves and answer some questions that they might have.
-- Maria, Logan, UT
Spirited Yearling Wounded is an excellent book. I thought that I would just read it slowly during the week when I had some breaks, but I ended up just not doing some things and reading it practically straight through ... It is riveting and I think that it could really serve anyone who is having a rough emotional time surrounding family, body, adolescence, relationships, sexuality, negative thoughts, religion - just about the whole gamut of life issues. I also think it could really be enlightening for people in the helping professions because you really allow others to see what was going on inside you instead of keeping that part hidden.
-- Lynne, Berkeley, CA
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Spirited Yearling Wounded is a true story about a Mormon woman in the Mountain West who tries to take her life when she realizes that she’s attracted to other women. Spirited comes face to face with questions like:
• Do I live my life according to church doctrine and repress my sexuality to become a Goddess in the afterlife?
• Do I honor my essence and express my sexual orientation with integrity only to be among murderers and adulterers when I die?
• Can I be rehabilitated, or does the quest for rehabilitation encourage the repression of my spirit?
• Is it more important who I love, what I am or how I love?
Realizing one’s sexual orientation can be difficult for both the individual and his/her loved ones. Spirited Yearling Wounded brings hope to the suffering soul and clarity to those who seek understanding about their loved one's sexual orientation.
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SOME EXCERPTS FROM SPIRITED YEARLING WOUNDED:
"I had already talked to my counselor at BYU, Sister Jenson, about Kate because sometimes I had visions of kissing her on the lips. They would just sort of flash in my mind and leave me feeling dirty and disgusting. I didn't tell anyone about it except Sister Jenson, not even my friends in the support group on campus. All she said was that it was ok to have the thoughts but not ok to act on them." p. 37
"I'm worried that the reason I feel these sexual feelings toward other women is because of [being sexually abused by a man when a teenager]. What if I will never be able to have normal sexual feelings toward a man? I feel so ashamed. I hope that one day I will be able to have normal sex with a man and not feel sexual feelings toward a woman ever again." p. 165
"My mouth hung agape because I was completely without word or thought. I had met my first real live lesbian. I looked her up and down slowly and was surprised to see how normal she looked." p. 153
"...[Beth] planted one right on my lips ... Time slowed to a standstill and fireworks exploded on the canvass of my mind; all those things happened that people talked about when it came to kissing boys, but I had never felt until this moment with a woman ... When once I feared this moment would kill me, it filled me. I didn't feel dirty at all but beautiful all over." p. 189
"... I cried. I didn't know why I grieved. I didn't anticipate giving up the gospel, for I intended to live its principles. I suspected I grieved the support of the church as a whole, knowing that I would be judged and ostracized. This realization devastated me because I had relied solely on the church for a sense of identity and self-esteem ever since I was sixteen years old. Now I stood on my own." p. 193
[I think] God would rather have me love a woman I feel attracted to instead of trying to love a man I might resent. How could I truly love him, then? He would deserve more." p. 219
"Well, if following the advice of the prophets by marrying a man or staying celibate was truly good for me, then I would feel light and love come into my life even though the lifestyle might be difficult. Just the thought of doing either one of those things breeds darkness and shame inside me whereas the idea of opening myself up to the possibility of being with a woman brings me internal peace." p. 221-222
"A budding peace filled my spirit as I looked to my future, reassured. I finally understood what people meant when they said that one could find heaven on earth; my contentment, in that moment, was everything I had imagined the Celestial Kingdom to be." p. 225
(c) Copyright 2005, Loren Jenner, all rights reserved.
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PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENTS:
Loren Jenner did several book readings of Spirited Yearling Wounded in Utah from 2005-2006. She enjoyed telling her story to others, and witnessed others who still struggled with reconciling their faith with their religion. When asked about the experience, she said, "I've learned how important it is to tell our stories. Change can happen, though it may seem slow. We may wonder if our efforts make a difference, yet when we realize that others are doing it, too - if even just to family members and friends we love - we are creating massive, long-term change."
Loren appeared at places like Borders in Logan and the Gay and Lesbian Resource Center in Salt Lake City.
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